This week we have the lovely Claire sharing her story for Monday’s Modern Families.
Claire is a mum, sailors wife, dog owner, chair fiend and part time super hero. She’s a self confessed shopaholic and an interiors lover. Claire is part of team Cybher and contributor to Bambino Goodies.
Last April by husband left me. I watched him go, and knew it would months until I saw him again.
I cried. My then 2-year-old asked me why I was sad. The magnitude of what happened was lost on her. After all, she was used to her Dad just getting up and going, perhaps not seen again for days, weeks or months.
We’re a forces family. This is what happens.
Normally. It’s okay. I knew what I was signing myself up to when I agreed to marry him. In fact, a few days away is quite positive. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Except when it’s dropped on you at the last moment and all your plans are suddenly ruined. That’s a different story.
However, 7 months is a long time though. Last year he was away a lot. Over the 12 months, I think he was home less than 3 months. He was always away a few weeks here and there to prep for the long deployment. We were lucky, he happened to be based in Cape Town for a couple of weeks, so we booked a hotel and flew out to see him.
When I was pregnant with my little one, he suddenly got drafted to a ship based in Scotland. We live on the South Coast. He lived up there for 18 months. He missed the pregnancy and, because I sent him back up there insisting I was fine, he missed the birth of our baby. Long distance relationships are hard. Really hard. He would try to come home every weekend, but that meant travelling until late on Fridays, being together on Saturday, and then travelling again on Sunday. Hardly worth the hundreds of pounds it cost.
He missed so much of our little one is those precious early days. It was hard. So hard that with a 15-day-old baby I drove to Scotland so we could spend a couple of weeks together so I wasn’t dealing with everything alone.
Now, we’re still living on the south coast. He’s on a shore based draft which when I started writing this post meant he would be home with us until August 2015. That’s a big deal for us. Huge. It means he will actually get to see his son grow and learn. Something he missed so much of with his daughter.
However, the forces being the forces, he got an email today saying he would now be joining ship August 2014. That’s next August. That’s soon. He wont know what ship or if he’s being deployed until nearer the time, so for now, we just forget about it until there’s something to worry about. This time, if he is based miles away, we will all go with him.
We have been living together, sleeping together, waking together almost every day since November last year. In our whole relationship this is the first time we have had this. Ever. Even before the kids were born. Right now, we’re pretty ‘normal’, it wont last though. And that’s okay. Because normal is boring. Right?