Danielle – Monday’s Modern Families
This weeks blogger sharing her story for Monday’s Modern Families, is the fab Danielle.
Danielle is a mother to 4, who lives in Oxfordshire. Her days are spent juggling a busy house and working from home. You can check out her blog at Blog By Baby, and also find her on Twitter and Facebook.
I am 29 with four children, there I said it. It’s a simple statement but one that shocks strangers, it shocks them even more when they find out that not all of my children have the same father. So how did I manage to get to the tender age of 29 and have four children by two different dads?
It started back in my teens, I was never allowed to attend college, my mum told me not to even contemplate it, she told me to get a job and live in the real world. I managed to grab some good gcse’s without even trying, and with these I somehow bagged myself a job working for a top London bank. I was living the party lifestyle, clubbing, drinking and earning far more money than other people my age. But there was something missing, I had this yearn to have a baby. I have no idea why, none of my friends had babies.
I met a guy when I was 17 and we both made a hasty decision to have a baby. I fell pregnant really quickly. We stayed together, we got on well as friends and we went on to have another child together just 2 years later. But we were young when we got together, we both had to grow up a lot quickly and at the same time we kind of grew apart too. We were more like brother and sister than anything else, so we amicably split. I was 24 with two children, a single mum.
I had a few relationships in the years that followed, one bad relationship that left me distraught and another bad relationship with a guy who I always kept separate from my life with my children. I lived as a single mum, with families in houses around me. I was jealous, so so jealous that they had someone to love, someone to share life with. So 5 years ago when I met a man who wanted family life, I jumped in with both feet.
Again, we made a decision early on in our relationship to have a baby, and I was pregnant just a few months after we first met. I was under no illusion at this point that I could be a single mum with 3 children, but I knew I had done it for so many years that I would be fine. We stayed together and 2 years after our first, we had another baby. Baby number four. I even flinch at the words, it sounds so many, almost greedy.
My first reaction when people are shocked is defence, and to justify myself to them, ‘But they are spaced out’, my eldest is 11. This does sometimes help, but people still comment with shock. I think if I had four children by one dad, I wouldn’t be judged at all.
But this is me, my life, and my main aim is to be the best mum I can be for my babies.