“is the pain a normal pain?” “does it feel normal?” “are you sure?”

These are all questions I ask Clara pretty much all day everyday. I have no clue how she puts up with me. Trust me I annoy myself.

The thing is I suffer with OCD on moderate/severe level. I coped very well once we discovered we were pregnant, but once we had our scare it all changed. My anxiety level raised and I became hyper sensitive to every time Clara winced or mentioned a cramping feeling.

I found myself googling every symptom, which anyone who has ever googled a symptom will know it’s the worst thing to do. It’s not that I want to wrap her in cotton wool, far from it. It’s just the feeling of complete helplessness.

I would love to be able to endure every pain my wife goes through instead of her. I’m sure anyone who loves someone with all their heart would want to take the pain instead of seeing them in pain, you don’t need OCD to feel like this. But OCD makes it 1000 times worse.

I am learning to bite my tongue. Now when I hear Clara mention a pain (which the majority of the time proves to be round ligament pain, I know this as I googled it 😉 ) I think to myself, if it’s really severe she will say so.

I have no clue what I will be like once she is going through labour pains. All I know is I will be there wishing I could take them from her.

I don’t think OCD is going to make me one of those parents who makes their kid live in a bubble or doesn’t allow friends round unless they are showered first. I just think it’s going to make me a caring and thoughtful parent.


This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. S And L Reply

    Don’t be scared of labour, I promise promise promise you it makes it a million times worse. And K, don’t you be afraid of watching her go through it, your anxiety will be transmitted to her, and anxiety in labour is bad news. She needs calm, peace, space and trust to allow her body to do it’s job. Pain in labour isn’t scary, it’s just to tell your body “hey, there’s a baby coming, prepare”!

    Trust your body (and K, you trust her), trust it to know without doubt what it is doing, give it the time it needs and work with it to bring the baby down and out in to the world. If you are worried about anxiety there are some brilliant CDs out there…natal hypnotherapy is great, it gets you to practice relaxing and going into your own world, so that when the time comes for baba to make it’s entrance, you are able to easily take yourself back there, to allow your endorphins to flow, allow the oxytocin to flow, and allow labour to proceed easily and freely.

    Oh, and stay away from Google…if you want to know anything, ask!

    L xx

  2. Mondays with Mac Reply

    My wife is very much like you. But once he was here she did much better than she expected. It’s harder when they are in there and you can’t see them!

    • MytwoMums Reply

      I’m sure I will be fine once our lil bump is here 🙂 good to hear there’s others who feel the same as me.

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