What you don’t want to hear

When I was anxious about M starting school I was worried if he would like it, if he would make friends, if he would be bullied and if he would learn things we didn’t want him to learn about yet.

It is inevitable that attending school teaches you far more than reading and writing. There are social skills to learn, fun facts your friends teach you and thanks to one child, several swear words.

Up until quite recently M thought saying bugger, bloody and idiot was swearing. He would whisper bloody bugger under his breath and wait for one of us to react to tell him that perhaps he shouldn’t use those words as they aren’t too nice. We aren’t perfect in our house, we have uttered the odd expletive when we’ve banged a head on a cupboard door or stubbed a toe on a dining chair. But we don’t swear in conversation and don’t have family that swear regularly either.

So it was a bit of a shock when M said F*ck, followed by sh*t then F**cking. He was swiftly told not to use the words as we navigated the best way to explain why they were wrong. But fully explaining the power of the language we use is not something that can be explained in one day. It is something we must enforce continually. That words have the power to hurt and offend. Yes some people may use them frequently, but we make sure M knows he is a lovely kind boy that doesn’t need to use such harsh words to get our attention.

relaxing on holiday

But it was still something I didn’t want to hear. Something I hoped we had a few years until we heard, at least. Our awesome little man who knows more about sea creatures than I could ever know, has now added three new awful words to his vocabulary. But thankfully he’s a kind thoughtful little lad that thinks about his actions and knows not to use words to hurt someone.

I just hope they are the first and last swear words he learns for quite a while.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Debbie Reply

    This is just my stream of consciousness. A few years ago I had a best friends’ night where a fellow mum referred to her son swearing, and our bestie said “well, at least he’s swearing in context.” I had so much love that night, one bestie is a primary school teacher, so it can’t have been an easy confession, I loved my other bestie for seeing the best in the situation.
    Not so long ago one of my son’s asked “what does f*cking mean?” I was mortified, he’s just turned 6. When quizzed he’s heard dad saying it trying to get our dogs out of the door.
    So we’ve had the same conversations, about what language means, about when we don’t say things. And it has been ok since. I think.
    So, I just wanted to say, we’re all with you. And we’re all trying to say the right thing.

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