When I read the recent article by the Telegraph about the plans to be proposed to the NHS to install Double beds in Maternity wards, I rolled my eyes. Another article with references to dads, husbands and boyfriends. No mention of other support a mother may have from a girlfriend or wife. Surely this proposal would have an affect on same sex parents too.
It’s this kind of narrow visioned reporting that stops same sex parenting becoming more mainstream. Even a reference to partners as a sweeping statement would have satisfied me, as even though I’d imagine they had no intention of it referring to same sex couples I could kid myself into thinking it did. I’ve even witnessed this subject talked about on TV and yet again no reference was made to the possibility that some mums would like their wife by their side.
In regards to the item proposed, I’m not actually sure I’d want to share a double bed in hospital just after my wife gave birth. Nothing to do with her of course, because as the article states *if you google it* that’s how we got in the situation which took us to hospital 😉
The reason I wouldn’t want to share a double bed would be due to the fact I’m an awful wriggler and the last thing my wife wants after giving birth is me elbowing her in the back every so often, adding to all the aches and pains she’s already suffering. Alternatively what I would like is for them to relax the strict policy of booting you out and leaving your wife whilst she is suffering/in pain/in need of your support etc.
On the ward door at the hospital C gave birth in, there was an A4 poster stating that partners could not be accommodated referencing *him*. It frustrated me and I even instagrammed a picture of the poster during her stay. It really wouldn’t be a huge fuss to change these posters to accommodate same sex partners. I’d even offer to retype and print the poster for them.
But I digress, the night C gave birth I was allowed to sleep on an armchair next to her bed under the strict instruction I was not to leave the room. Luckily we were in a private room and has access to a toilet, so leaving the room wasn’t an issue. That night I got up each time Monkey cried as C was incapacitated due to her epidural not wearing off quickly. Now if I’d been sent home she’d had to have struggled to reach him each time, wouldn’t have had any sleep and it could have triggered negative emotions that soon after birth.
I imagine this is the case with lots of women who aren’t lucky enough to have someone to help them for those first few hours. I know there will be some women shaking their heads at this post as they wouldn’t want their partners staying after they’d given birth. That’s great for you, but it’s not right for us.
I’d love there to be a change before C gives birth to our next baby, even more so I’d love to see more mentions of same sex partners in hospitals. But that’s one of the reasons we blog, to help make same sex parenting more visible. We exist and one day, in an ideal world people won’t bat an eyelid.