A hand to hold

I have always found holding C’s hand incredibly comforting, it’s something that warms me to the core. We can be sitting next to each other in the cinema, or even laying in bed and I know I can reach across and take C’s hand and she’ll hold mine back.

There was a time in our relationship where holding C’s hand filled me with anxiety. I feel ashamed of this time and it makes me sad to think about it, but it’s part of the past and can’t be changed. I’d experienced homophobia in a previous relationship, that had occurred whilst we were out in town. It had lead me to be anxious whenever C attempted to show me affection when out in public. For years I hesitated when taking C’s hand and I hated it. I hated feeling like I had to hide something as simple as holding someone’s hand.

But something changed, I didn’t want to be ruled by my fear. I wanted to take control and show the world that I was confident in my relationship. I had just as much right to hold my wife’s hand in public as anyone……….. and it felt GOOD!

Nobody has any right to make me feel fear and I have learned to not let past fear control me. Now I’m proud to hold my wife’s hand wherever we go, she is beautiful, why wouldn’t I want people to know she’s with me?!

This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. Lauren Reply

    It’s so sad that people made you feel like that. I’m glad it’s no longer the case.
    Fab photo and really lovely post x

  2. Becky Arber Reply

    Lovely pics this month ladies! So glad that you’re not made to feel like that anymore! Happy Days!

  3. LauraCYMFT Reply

    So sorry that you were made to feel fear in what you were doing. That’s is just not right! Glad you feel much better now. Such a lovely picture.

  4. Double Trouble Reply

    Lovely Photo’s, Its such a shame you were made to feel like that. I’m really happy for both of you that you don’t feel that way no more.

  5. Lucy Reply

    I feel so sad for you that you felt such fear about the simple act of holding hands. Holding hands was, and still is, one of those simple little thrills for me. And I feel so awful for you that our society stole that excitement from you. But I’m glad you love it now! 😉
    Beautiful photos too. I love how you put them all together as one image of your two smiling faces and your hands clasped together. x

  6. Jess @ Catch A Single Thought Reply

    Gorgeous photos, and such a lovely story too, I’m so glad that you were able to beat the fear (and sorry you had to experience such negativity in the first place) – I love holding my OH’s hand although it’s not something we often get chance to do when we’re out and wrangling children and dogs!

  7. mummy madness Reply

    I actually hate holding hands, I hold the kids hands strange really, I need my own space when walking (Im ever so clumsy) Lovely photo BTW 🙂

  8. More Than Words Reply

    Good for you. The more of us who are open about our relationship and who we love the better I say. I hold my wife’s arm when we walk side by side, always have. I’m not much of a hand holder but holding her arm allows me to pull her close, so that nice. 🙂

  9. Donna Wishart Reply

    It’s great that you have each other’s hands to hold. Love the quirky photo and the story behind it, thanks for sharing x

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