He’s doing fine

Three years have passed and I can confirm our little man is doing fine. If I had a pound for every time I’ve seen a tweet, comment on a news site or a throwaway remark heard in public, about same sex parents and their apparent inability to raise children without breaking them, I would have enough money to…. well I just know I’d have more money than I have right now, because to be honest I don’t keep track of the comments.

I won’t lie, before M came along the comments were hurtful. Someone judging your ability to be a parent based on whom you fall in love with is just crazy. How does the fact that I prefer to fall asleep in the arms of a woman have any influence on how well I can teach my son to say please and thank you? Our roles as parents are to teach our son to be the best he can be and to nurture him as he grows into a kind respectful gentleman. We are able to teach him the norms and values needed to survive in society and are able to provide many male role models within our family and even if our family wasn’t full of uncles, brothers, grandpas and best friends, he would still be just fine.
spiderman is fine

At no point during the raising of our son, have I encountered a moment that has had me think being a parent would be easier if it were a man I’d chosen to marry. I’ve read comments on articles that proposed that two women would only be able to raise a daughter. I think these articles fail to acknowledge all the single parents that escape this judgment (though rightly so, no judging should occur). But speaking as the person I’ve become I can confirm that raising a boy feels the most natural thing to me.

My parents (both straight) managed to raise two girls, one who was born to be straight and one (me) who was born to be gay. We both experienced the same influences, were offered the same toys and even the same clothes (much to my annoyance). One of us grew up and married a man and had a beautiful daughter and the other grew up married a beautiful woman and had a son.

Personally, I don’t think anyone could raise my son as well as I can. Obviously I do not include my wife in that statement, because she rocks and she is the best Mummy ever! But my son benefits from having me as a Mama and I’m not just blowing my own trumpet. I mean he even inherited my best feature, those puppy dog eyes will get him out of many time outs as he grows.

spiderman fine too

But if you’re still wondering how our little dude is going to learn to be a man with two mums, then rest assured we are doing our best and we’ve not damaged him yet. I’m pretty good at ties and boot polish, we’ve got great parents teaching him to be fantastic in the kitchen and Clara has already passed on her styling tips, so he’ll be a well dressed gentleman.

 

This Post Has 18 Comments

  1. Goblin Child Reply

    Totally needed to read this today. Thank you. We don’t have many men in our lives but after sixteen years of private school I’m pretty good at ties as well. 😉 I know that you are the best parents for Monkey that he could possibly have. I hope that we are the same for the twins.

  2. tamarsb Reply

    You two are such amazing Mums, I was raised by a single mother and sometimes we’d hear comments after my dad left. My mother would just respond “we’re fine just as we are” – it hurt but now I couldn’t imagine it any other way! Keep being the awesome family you are!!

  3. Michelle Twin Mum Reply

    It is evident he is so well loved and what more can a child want than parents that adore them, nurture them and teach them to be who they are meant to be. Mich x

  4. Mama Syder Reply

    Judgmental people irritate me more than any other type of person. Usually they are just jealous! You are clearly madly in love and a very happy family. Two fingers up to those who make ridiculous comments xxx

  5. Susan Mann Reply

    You are such amazing parents and have a wonderful and fun little boy. He doesn’t want for anything and is surrounded by so much love. That is all he needs xx

  6. Innocent Charms Chats Reply

    Is it wrong that I feel so angered you have had to write this post ?
    You are both amazing parents, I know 1st hand, a child does not need a man and woman to bring them up it is about being nurtured, many people don’t know but tbh I was mainly raised by my Nana, single handed, older than a parent and I think she did a great job xx

  7. Boo Reply

    All that any child needs is love and sustenance (obvs). You two are doing an amazing job. Sometimes I feel sad for such judgmental people; they would lead much happier lives if they just accepted that we are who we are and love is love is love! haha

  8. Sonya Whaley Reply

    This is good to know! My partner is pregnant with our second and scans suggest it’s going to be a boy. Will be a bit of a bombshell into our all-female household! Slight feeling of panic, that I don’t know anything about boys. It is certainly going to be a learning curve and an opportunity to grow. Great to find your blog, I will be reading with a vested interest from now on… x

  9. Rachel B Reply

    Surely love is the key to any family upbringing? It’s such a shame not everyone can except that, let’s hope acceptance happens soon so everyone can get on being amazing parents with amazing families xx

  10. Caro Davies Reply

    Aaah this made me feel a bit tearful. I remember a lovely midwife saying that the only thing a small baby needs is milk and love. And I think that’s a good symbol for bringing up a child generally — as long as they have everything they need and are well loved, I think that’s all that matters. I think it’s so sad that people can’t see past the ends of their noses sometimes. You’re both doing a great job. Just keep on, keeping on, and prove the critics wrong.

  11. Play Factore Reply

    What a fantastic blog, refreshing and inspiring! Love is love at the end of the day. Best of luck to you and your beautiful family. Kind regards, Play Factore UK

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