Three years have passed and I can confirm our little man is doing fine. If I had a pound for every time I’ve seen a tweet, comment on a news site or a throwaway remark heard in public, about same sex parents and their apparent inability to raise children without breaking them, I would have enough money to…. well I just know I’d have more money than I have right now, because to be honest I don’t keep track of the comments.
I won’t lie, before M came along the comments were hurtful. Someone judging your ability to be a parent based on whom you fall in love with is just crazy. How does the fact that I prefer to fall asleep in the arms of a woman have any influence on how well I can teach my son to say please and thank you? Our roles as parents are to teach our son to be the best he can be and to nurture him as he grows into a kind respectful gentleman. We are able to teach him the norms and values needed to survive in society and are able to provide many male role models within our family and even if our family wasn’t full of uncles, brothers, grandpas and best friends, he would still be just fine.
At no point during the raising of our son, have I encountered a moment that has had me think being a parent would be easier if it were a man I’d chosen to marry. I’ve read comments on articles that proposed that two women would only be able to raise a daughter. I think these articles fail to acknowledge all the single parents that escape this judgment (though rightly so, no judging should occur). But speaking as the person I’ve become I can confirm that raising a boy feels the most natural thing to me.
My parents (both straight) managed to raise two girls, one who was born to be straight and one (me) who was born to be gay. We both experienced the same influences, were offered the same toys and even the same clothes (much to my annoyance). One of us grew up and married a man and had a beautiful daughter and the other grew up married a beautiful woman and had a son.
Personally, I don’t think anyone could raise my son as well as I can. Obviously I do not include my wife in that statement, because she rocks and she is the best Mummy ever! But my son benefits from having me as a Mama and I’m not just blowing my own trumpet. I mean he even inherited my best feature, those puppy dog eyes will get him out of many time outs as he grows.
But if you’re still wondering how our little dude is going to learn to be a man with two mums, then rest assured we are doing our best and we’ve not damaged him yet. I’m pretty good at ties and boot polish, we’ve got great parents teaching him to be fantastic in the kitchen and Clara has already passed on her styling tips, so he’ll be a well dressed gentleman.