Before you get pregnant you hear hundreds of stories about how women’s hormones are all over the place & how some have just burst into tears right in the middle if the supermarket because they don’t have the right brand of baked beans.
I’ve always found these stories quite comical & brushed it off as an over exaggeration, boy oh boy how wrong I was to do that!
Over the last 31 weeks I have been trying to hold in my emotions as best as I could, I’m sure my wife has felt the brunt of my emotions & will tell you different 😉 but I didn’t want to seem like a hysterical pregnant lady & fall into that cliche to the on lookers of our pregnancy.
Sadly I lost my Great Grandmother in March this year to Dementia. She was my everything & I’ve struggled to cope with the thought that she will never meet our child. She has always been so supportive of me & Kirsty & always treated her like she had always been there, I just fill up with love every time I think about it.
I have always been a person who wears my emotions on my sleeve & although I cried at the funeral I felt like I had to put on a brave face. I don’t really know why I did that but my Grandma would have hated to see me upset, so maybe I did it for her.
This Wednesday Kirsty & I sat down to watch 24 Hours in A&E on Channel 4, which we love & towards the end of the programme a 91 year old lady called Rose was brought in having had a stroke & she looked just like my Grandma the last time I saw her & I finally allowed myself to really cry! Not just for my Grandmother but just because I really needed to let go of all that built up emotion.
Since Wednesday I have felt so much better! I’m not going to worry about what others think now, If I need to cry or hysterically laugh or vent I’m just going to do it, it feels amazing!!
So if you’re going through the same thing, please just let it all go, pregnancy is only 40 weeks of your life, who honestly cares about a few tears if they make you feel better?!
For Mary xx