This week marks the end of my long journey of home study and with only one more assessment to complete, this small but tiring part of my life comes to an end but opens up a whole world of opportunities for me and my family.
It began back in September 2014 when I decided to take a GCSE Maths class one evening a week, which I hoped would lead to me finally gaining my grade C qualification. When I was at school I struggled with numbers and my teachers might as well of spoken gobbledygook because for all that I tried, I failed. Retake after retake, until I finally said enough was enough. Then something changed in me. I had this wonderful little family whom I adored but it was time to start thinking of me again. I’d gone back to work and my confidence was steadily building. Whilst studying I met new people which led to our son enrolling in a wonderful little preschool which helped build his confidence also. It gave Kirsty some time alone with M whilst I was out, which over the 2 years I was off work with him she rarely had the chance to have and I worked and worked and worked and worked at this course.
Then one day it just clicked!
This whole world of numbers came rushing at me and I felt like my brain had unlocked a secret passage way. I understood algebra, I knew how to calculate the circumference of a circle, I could answer long multiplication questions. . . I just got better and better. . . And you know what?!
After 11 long years, I gained a grade C in GCSE Mathematics.
I then had a long conversation with both Kirsty and my mum one night and they both asked me, what next?
What do you want to do with your life?
I knew the answer straight away, I wanted to be a Midwife. So that is what I set out to achieve. I researched the entry requirements for my local University and found that I needed to study an access course in Health Science, which would be the equivalent to the required A Levels and the quickest way possible for a person in my situation who needs to work full time.
So in September 2015 I signed up to the Access to Midwifery course with the Distance Learning Center and set to work. The material was hard to learn and the assessments were long and frustrating at times. I was juggling trying to be a loving wife, a dedicated and loving mother, working full time, studying and all those other bits and pieces that comes with a domesticated lifestyle and it has, without doubt been one of the toughest years of my life but one of the most rewarding. I even came to the realisation that I don’t really want to be a midwife after all, I want to be a nurse. So that’s what I’m going to do.
I’m not quite there yet, but I can see the finish line. . . for this year at least. . . Next year opens up a world of university applications, volunteering, open days, interviews and tests, which is so daunting as I’ve been there before and the nerves are what’s going to keep me on edge, the not knowing if I’ve made it onto the course.
Though I know Kirsty will keep me steady and support me through it all, the way she has done since the beginning of this journey. It’s been tough on us emotionally among other struggles in our lives but we’ve made it through it all. She’s my rock. M has also been so understanding when I needed to work and I hope that one day he’ll be proud of my achievements. All this hard work is for him, so I can’t give him the life he deserves and together me and Kirsty are going to make that happen.
Wish me luck on my next phase of the journey and I’ll keep you posted.