This week I had surgery, it was successful I was well looked after and am incredibly thankful for the NHS and all their staff. I also had a few encounters with a lovely lady which got me thinking about the importance of titles.
Not titles we use for ourselves, but those we use for others. Girlfriend, fiancée, partner, civil partner, wife, spouse are all titles people have used when discussing Clara with me. To both Clara and I the transition of titles in our relationship have been quite important to us. In fact we still celebrate the anniversary of the day we started dating and she officially became my girlfriend.
Over the last 9 years Clara has become my fiancée, with many choosing to call her my partner, then officially she became my civil partner, which we never used as a title as to me from our wedding day she was always my wife. But in the eyes of our UK law she only recently became my official wife.
Wife, a title I adore. I love being able to talk about my wife whenever the opportunity arises. Especially in official documentation, I get to write down my wife’s name as my next of kin. Ask them to contact my wife if they need to and discuss my wife during tense moments, for example on the operating table awaiting surgery.
Which is why I found it odd when the lovely lady in charge of me during my visit was adamant that every time she referred to Clara, she called her my girlfriend despite me never using the title.
I even went over conversations in my head to see if she was misunderstanding me.
Lady – Do you have someone to take you home?
Me – Yes my wife is waiting for me.
Lady – Great so will your girlfriend be looking after you at home?
Me – Yes my wife will be there.
Lady – Is your girlfriend picking you up?
Me – Yes I have called my wife
Lady – Make sure you get your girlfriend to bring up a wheelchair to help you to the car
I was quite clear in expressing the title I wished Clara to have, but there was just something not processing when the lady chose to talk about her. I have no idea why, I know no harm was meant and I was not in the least offended, it was just a bit of an odd encounter.
I did consider that if she were discussing someone’s husband if perhaps she would make the same mix up, but until I hear that conversation I can’t make that judgment. I will never know why she found it so hard to say wife.
But so many people have moved mountains in our country so that I have the pleasure of not only having a wife, but being able to officially use the title in all important documents. Which means so much to me.
So this post is just a little poke for those who perhaps don’t pay much attention to titles, they mean so much to those who haven’t always been able to use them. So please be mindful of the titles someone personally chooses to use, it can mean the world to someone.
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