One of the most common things C and I heard when we told people we were trying for a baby was, “so who’s carrying the baby?”.
For those who knew me really well it wouldn’t shock them to discover that perhaps I wasn’t going to be the one to grow our baby. But there had been a time when I had considered giving birth.
Many moons ago I had contemplated the idea of creating a mini me, this was very much due to the fact I’d always loved kids and really wanted to have one of my own. Even once I had met C and we discussed the possibilities of starting a family, we had talked about how it would be a good idea if I was to go first as I was older and therefore the longer it was until I had a baby the more I fell in to the “at risk” category.
But the more C and I got to know each other and the more I got to know myself, I realised I just wasn’t meant to be the one carrying the babies in our relationship. C understands and supports the way I feel, she also knows if there was ever a reason I had to, then I would step up to the plate. But until then, I’m happy being the other mum.
Since I got C pregnant, I can totally sympathise with dads. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want any pity as pregnant people definitely get the sharp end of the stick but it is still a terribly anxious and stressful time. Sure, I’m not having to be sick every five minutes, be poked and prodded by midwives or worrying about if I’m going to ever get back in to my favourite jeans. But I still have to adapt in ways I didn’t foresee.
I am sure as the weeks go by we will each be changing in our own little ways. In some ways it’s incredibly lonely being referred to as “other mum”. In all the apps *and trust me I download a lot of apps* everything that isn’t aimed at the pregnant woman is aimed at the Dad, in a very stereotypical way. I am yet to find something which addresses how I may be feeling. Heck maybe I’ll end up having to write something myself. I wouldn’t want our situation any other way, I am loving watching the changes in my wife and I can’t wait to meet our little monkey.